I will share a bit more about my personal struggle before I started to feel much better. My daughter, my husband and I are now all feeling so much better, most days we actually feel pretty amazing. I don’t want you to feel worse because of reading this, but I just want to explain that it was hard for me to believe in the beginning that “just feeling better” can help you change your life for the better.
I am so grateful for all the amazing things that have happened in my life this last year (since my last post – sorry, it’s already been a year)! I have known for a while how important it is to feel good, and I also know how hard it can seem in the beginning to try to feel good. I certainly know how hard it can be to believe that just feeling good can make your life better. I want to tell you though, it really, absolutely can! For as long as I can remember, I used to be a rather skeptical person, so the idea of just feeling good, having a positive effect on my life, was kind of hard to believe. And then, when I was beginning to open up to the possibility that I would at least want to try it, I did not know how I could make myself feel better in the situation I was in. I know situations are always hard to compare, and we each have our own “big thing” or two, that we believe will not let us be happy until it has changed. Well my “big thing” was my daughter having unexplained multiple seizures every day and night. All the tests showed nothing abnormal and medications could not control her seizures. On top of that she just stopped developing physically when the seizures started at three months. Because of the nightly seizures (often around once an hour, sometimes every half hour or even more) my husband and I had very little sleep. We were under tremendous emotional stress, not being able to help our daughter and not knowing if she would survive, when the seizures went out of control and just would not stop. The worst thing for me personally was, it felt like to me that my daughter was being tortured with electric shocks and I had to watch and could not help her. We did everything we could to try to help her, tried the regular medical route until the neurologists told us there is nothing they could do; we tried any alternative therapy we could find that might help. We tried anything under the sun and spent lots of money, all our savings and people even donated to help us try therapies that might help. About three years into our journey I learned about the belief that feeling good can help you change your life for the better. I don’t know if you can imagine what kind of feelings I had about that. I thought: “Well whoever says or believes that has not been in MY situation!” Anybody can relate to that? Usually we all can, on some level.
So how was I supposed to be happy watching my daughter going through her struggle every hour of every day.
In the fall of 2011 I had the opportunity to talk to a teacher of this particular belief – that feeling better will impact your life positively. The teacher said, when the seizure is not happening in that moment, think of anything that will make you feel better than thinking about seizures. They said when the seizure is happening there is nothing you can do. Just wait until it’s over, but then focus on somehow feeling better. Right after was always the hardest time for me to feel good, because each time it was a new shock. You would think I would have gotten used to them, but not really. One thing the teacher left me with was, just continue focusing on anything that makes you feel just a little better and one day not too far away, you will lie in bed at night and notice “I am not worried”. I could not imagine that that could happen, but it did! Not even six months later I was one night lying in bed and I was not worried. My daughter was still having seizures (though not in that particular moment of course), but in that moment I was not worried, and it was so amazing to me and what a relief, for the first time in over 4 years I was not worried. I think the moments of not feeling worried had kind of been sneaking in here and there, but that moment was the first conscious acknowledgement, and it felt really good. Another few months later my daughter was seizure-free for about 3 months, which was beyond words, just amazing for my husband and me. Of course my husband and I both became very motivated to feel better and better. Some therapies seemed to start showing a little bit more of positive results. My daughter went through long stretches without having seizures. The harder times to continue feeling good were of course when she had been seizure-free for three months, and then she would have three month with seizures again; but then she had four and then even 6 months without seizures. It’s now been over six months and there is no doubt in my mind that she will live a seizure-free life for good. She has started communicating with a letter board, and we have just been enjoying her sweet personality so much. We have experienced so many miracles in our lives over the last couple of years. It was so amazing for me to realize we can influence our experience. Combining this goal to feel as good as possible with emotional releasing tools, like EFT and other techniques, has really helped me not only to cope with the situation (though that is of course what it does at first), but to find happiness and joy again. The biggest lessons I learned is, if there is anything you can think of to appreciate or be grateful for, think of that (even if it’s the memory of going out for an ice cream with your aunt when you were 6); and never give up, you will get there! And most importantly be easy on yourself, you are doing an amazing job every day, whether it’s the day you are curled up in bed crying, or the day you are out enjoying a beautiful walk in the sunshine.There are some harder days along the way, but there are many more good days and eventually almost only good days.
Peace and joy exists! And it exists for you. You have more influence on your life experience than you realize! The only thing you can change in any given situation is how you feel about it. And when you can change that feeling, that’s when you will start to see magic happen in your life!
I believe in you!