Believe that you can feel good!

My 7 year old daughter just told me: “I think people underestimate the power of feeling good. Please, oh please write a book about how feeling good helped me stop having seizures. People don’t know how hard you worked to feel good. You never gave up. You believed in me even when nobody else did anymore.”
This brought tears to my eyes! I hope everybody at least once in their lifetime is allowed to feel this kind of joy! Even though I know, this is not a book, I thought my blog would be a good place to write about it. I shared a similar post not too long ago, but I agree with my daughter and decided this deserved another post.
The amazing thing is, I think, my daughter’s statement is true; probably most people, even close friends and family don’t know how hard I and my husband worked on feeling good, because I did not want it to seem hard to others. Even though there were times, when it was not easy at all, and sometimes it felt good to hear from friends or relatives about their problems, because it felt good to be pulled into people’s normal realities, where things mattered of which I had wished at times that they mattered to me. I learned, I mean I really learned what is important for me, and what is not. And most of all I learned that one has a choice. It can seem like the hardest choice you have ever made, but it is also the most rewarding and best choice you can ever make; for yourself and everyone around you. Make the choice to feel good right now. Every moment is a new choice. Sometimes it feels easier than other times; and once in a while you just say I choose to feel good, and it does not seem to be working; but you just make the choice to feel good over and over until it gets easier. Now here is the tricky part! Never make yourself feel bad for not feeling good right away. Love and accept yourself no matter how you feel. Just over and over every day consciously tell yourself I choose to feel good. And then at some point it will get easier. For some people this point can come pretty quickly, for others it might take a little longer, but if you are determined to feel good, it will happen for you!

Believe in yourself! I believe in you!

Finding relief by throwing out what does not feel good!

One thing that has really helped me feel a lot lighter emotionally, and more joyful overall was going through my closet and literally throwing away the clothes I never liked or that just did not feel good. The trick here is to only donate the things you do like but just don’t wear anymore for some reason, but to toss the clothes and items you don’t like or have negative memories around. The thing is if we give things away that we don’t like, in return, it’s more likely to be given (or we end up buying ourselves) more things that we don’t like in the long run. Ever heard of “what goes around comes around”? Even though it’s hard to explain, our energy of not liking the clothes or item (and also just generally the person’s energy who gave it to us and why they gave it to us, if it was a gift) are attached to the clothes. So that’s why it was important for me to really throw the things away that I did not like. I have to say at first I was not sure, because if I have perfectly functional clothes that someone else might like, shouldn’t I donate them to the thrift store? But after having gone through the whole thing and really only donating the few items that I loved, but just did not wear anymore; and then throwing away all the clothes that I did not like or that were given to me by someone I had a difficult relationship with, I felt so much better, experiencing a feeling of freedom I hadn’t in a long time. And once you’ve started with your closet, go through your home and look at everything in it. I bet you will see things that you never really liked, but just never got around to getting rid of. Now, of course if it’s something someone gave you and they still come around to visit you, you don’t want to hurt their feelings, so just find a place in your home that feels best for you to put it and still acknowledges that you appreciate the gift. Below is a link to an article on how people associate positive or negative emotions with an item of clothing.

http://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/weight+loss/body+confidence/how+clothes+can+boost+mood,15461

And why would we want to keep something in our closet (or home) if it makes us feel bad? So let go of what you don’t need anymore and enjoy your “feel-good clothes” and a more joyful life experience! You deserve to surround yourself with things that feel good!

 

FEEL GOOD – It’s so important, and it is possible!

I will share a bit more about my personal struggle before I started to feel much better. My daughter, my husband and I are now all feeling so much better, most days we actually feel pretty amazing. I don’t want you to feel worse because of reading this, but I just want to explain that it was hard for me to believe in the beginning that “just feeling better” can help you change your life for the better.

I am so grateful for all the amazing things that have happened in my life this last year (since my last post – sorry, it’s already been a year)! I have known for a while how important it is to feel good, and I also know how hard it can seem in the beginning to try to feel good. I certainly know how hard it can be to believe that just feeling good can make your life better. I want to tell you though, it really, absolutely can! For as long as I can remember, I used to be a rather skeptical person, so the idea of just feeling good, having a positive effect on my life, was kind of hard to believe. And then, when I was beginning to open up to the possibility that I would at least want to try it, I did not know how I could make myself feel better in the situation I was in. I know situations are always hard to compare, and we each have our own “big thing” or two, that we believe will not let us be happy until it has changed. Well my “big thing” was my daughter having unexplained multiple seizures every day and night. All the tests showed nothing abnormal and medications could not control her seizures. On top of that she just stopped developing physically when the seizures started at three months. Because of the nightly seizures (often around once an hour, sometimes every half hour or even more) my husband and I had very little sleep. We were under tremendous emotional stress, not being able to help our daughter and not knowing if she would survive, when the seizures went out of control and just would not stop. The worst thing for me personally was, it felt like to me that my daughter was being tortured with electric shocks and I had to watch and could not help her. We did everything we could to try to help her, tried the regular medical route until the neurologists told us there is nothing they could do; we tried any alternative therapy we could find that might help. We tried anything under the sun and spent lots of money, all our savings and people even donated to help us try therapies that might help. About three years into our journey I learned about the belief that feeling good can help you change your life for the better. I don’t know if you can imagine what kind of feelings I had about that. I thought: “Well whoever says or believes that has not been in MY situation!” Anybody can relate to that? Usually we all can, on some level.

So how was I supposed to be happy watching my daughter going through her struggle every hour of every day.

In the fall of 2011 I had the opportunity to talk to a teacher of this particular belief – that feeling better will impact your life positively. The teacher said, when the seizure is not happening in that moment, think of anything that will make you feel better than thinking about seizures. They said when the seizure is happening there is nothing you can do. Just wait until it’s over, but then focus on somehow feeling better. Right after was always the hardest time for me to feel good, because each time it was a new shock. You would think I would have gotten used to them, but not really. One thing the teacher left me with was, just continue focusing on anything that makes you feel just a little better and one day not too far away, you will lie in bed at night and notice “I am not worried”. I could not imagine that that could happen, but it did! Not even six months later I was one night lying in bed and I was not worried. My daughter was still having seizures (though not in that particular moment of course), but in that moment I was not worried, and it was so amazing to me and what a relief, for the first time in over 4 years I was not worried. I think the moments of not feeling worried had kind of been sneaking in here and there, but that moment was the first conscious acknowledgement, and it felt really good. Another few months later my daughter was seizure-free for about 3 months, which was beyond words, just amazing for my husband and me. Of course my husband and I both became very motivated to feel better and better. Some therapies seemed to start showing a little bit more of positive results. My daughter went through long stretches without having seizures. The harder times to continue feeling good were of course when she had been seizure-free for three months, and then she would have three month with seizures again; but then she had four and then even 6 months without seizures. It’s now been over six months and there is no doubt in my mind that she will live a seizure-free life for good. She has started communicating with a letter board, and we have just been enjoying her sweet personality so much. We have experienced so many miracles in our lives over the last couple of years. It was so amazing for me to realize we can influence our experience. Combining this goal to feel as good as possible with emotional releasing tools, like EFT and other techniques, has really helped me not only to cope with the situation (though that is of course what it does at first), but to find happiness and joy again. The biggest lessons I learned is, if there is anything you can think of to appreciate or be grateful for, think of that (even if it’s the memory of going out for an ice cream with your aunt when you were 6); and never give up, you will get there! And most importantly be easy on yourself, you are doing an amazing job every day, whether it’s the day you are curled up in bed crying, or the day you are out enjoying a beautiful walk in the sunshine.There are some harder days along the way, but there are many more good days and eventually almost only good days. 

Peace and joy exists! And it exists for you. You have more influence on your life experience than you realize! The only thing you can change in any given situation is how you feel about it. And when you can change that feeling, that’s when you will start to see magic happen in your life!

I believe in you!

 

 

 

Day THIRTY of 30 poems in 30 days!

30. Water

You drink it, swim in it and use it for your bath,

It waters the flowers and it can make a muddy path.

It is amazing how good it feels when you get to drink,

when you’re very thirsty it tastes better than anything you’d think.

 

And isn’t it so nice to jump into the cool Atlantic,

or if you go with your spouse at dusk it can be very romantic.

Either way I think that water is a real gift!

So let’s enjoy watching waterfalls and the stream drift!

 

 

 

Day twenty-nine of 30 poems in 30 days!

Only 2 more poems to complete the 30 poems in 30 days challenge! I’m using the first line of the song Dancing Queen as a prompt today.

29. Dancing Queen

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen.

Oh, dancing queen, you’re full of life and your hair’s high sheen.

You fill the place with bright light that is shining from your eyes.

You can see the admiration in the faces of all the guys.

 

You are the picture of beauty and eternal youth!

When you take a break, everyone wants to share your booth.

You are the dancing queen, and you love life, like there’s no one who is mean.

So just dance right on through the night because you truly are the dancing queen!

Day 28 of 30 poems in 30 days!

28. Sisters

There is really something special about the bond of sisters.

They’ve seen you happy, in love, and with blisters.

They’ve known you almost all your life.

 From childhood to becoming a wife.

 

They love you even with your flaws.

Whether you show sweetness or your claws.

You might have felt so angry that you never could forgive,

as teenagers you might have said you wish she did not live.

 

Only a few days later it was suddenly all forgotten.

And you were laughing together just like nobody’d ever felt rotten.

You learn to be yourself with people who are really honest.

And often when you grow up these are the people you feel about the fondest.

 

And somehow your sisters get you in a way almost no one can.

Though sometimes you need to be your strongest when you choose a different path from your clan.

So just remember always, they will love you ’till the end.

Just make sure you do what you need, and know they will usually end up again your friend.

 

So let’s celebrate our siblings for the gifts they really are!

They help us grow beyond ourselves which can help us go so far!

I love my sisters very much and they’re amazing support for me!

I’d never want to miss growing up with them, including the pain and the glee!

 

 

Day twenty-seven of 30 poems in 30 days!

27. Eat, Pray, Love

Let me tell you a story about, Jenn, my dear friend,

Her life’s just like a certain movie, right up to the end.

It’s amazing how similar her journey has been so far.

In the movie the leading lady is played by a big movie star.

 

Do you know the movie titled Eat, Pray, Love?

Do you remember how the heroine prays to God above?

And how she then goes to Italy for a while.

Where she then learns to enjoy her food with a smile.

 

In India she finally finds her peace within.

In Bali she is ready for new romance to begin.

Then we see her happy ending, driving off into the sunset.

We know she’ll have a long term marriage, and so no more is she upset.

 

The big difference between my friend and the movie’s leading female,

Is that Jenn didn’t need to travel and therefore didn’t rely on email.

Even though she stayed where she was, she took her journey on the inside.

She learned to stay true to herself, and ended up a happy bride.

 

She enjoys delicious foods just like the woman in the movie.

She learned to listen to her heart, which gave her peace and she felt groovy!

And finally she met her man; whose house they decorated for Christmas with holly.

Mark kissed her under the mistletoe, and in no time they were off to their honeymoon in Bali!